Hey, I've been seen with a black banner/pfp and I've been not replying to anyone, and I think it's time I properly address that to not worry anybody more than I've already done.

I am taking a long indefinite break from discord as I've ruined my mentality enough and need time to process and heal from the things that have happened and are still happening to me, and me staying on discord wont make me heal from them, it'll just make them worse than they already are, this is probably the lowest I've ever been and I've never gone to sleep with such a heavy heart, I need time, time for myself and time to heal, as much as I love you all, I'll be okay. I don't wish for anybody to get involved with my decision and I wish it would be respected, I just need time to heal, and I will be back, eventually, and I'll be better. I've been planning this decision for quite a while now, but the proper time never came for me to make it, and now I believe is the proper time for me to do so and give myself a rest.
I've been constantly taken as a joke, mocked or unbelieved, no matter how hard I try to hint or explain that I hate it and yet if I do, I'm suddenly sensitive and in the wrong and there's nothing that I could do about it even if I wish to, that's "just the nature of things" which I don't believe anymore, my trust was constantly broken down and yet I still went back to rebuild it no matter how hard it was knocked down, I've always been this repulsive, angered person around everyone, and I think it's time for me to change that.
I would also like to apologize to those I hurt with my stupid decisions at some times, you all meant the world to me and yet I still tore you down, Please take care of yourselves and don't let anything stop you from achieving everything that you want, you only live once, enjoy everything while you still can and don't let anybody change that.
I love you all so so much, please take care of yourselves and stay safe, I'll be happy to see you all again.

If anyone wishes to contact me, you can add my friend “cinnamon.1” on discord if you want to transfer me a message, anything that relates to me taking a break will be ignored. If you want to use instagram, I will be making a second instagram account soon instead of giving out my personal account. More will be added to this in a few moments.